the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
