I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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