Life is so much better after having sex.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize