Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
