Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
True strength comes from lack of pants
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
