i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
