brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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