just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Are my feet made of real feet?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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