I bet he comes in French.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize