she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
