You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
