Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
