i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
