I'm going to jail i love you
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
