Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
