; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
