need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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