there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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