That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize