summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
