How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
