Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
