there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
