So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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