You really coming over, don't trick.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
