i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize