CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize