She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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