Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
