How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
