At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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