She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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