I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize