What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
