A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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