If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
