Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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