I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
this hospital has no fireball
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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