sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
