It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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