i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
