And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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