fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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