girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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