whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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