YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
