Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
