Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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