so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize