we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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