Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
