went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
