i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
