so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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