I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
