I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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