I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
