My ATM looks so different sober.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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