Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
