I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
