I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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