Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
