I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
