Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Porn is love you can see.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
