there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
