So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
