I skipped work to stalk him.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
