Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
