I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I will be naked everywhere
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
