I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm bleeding and have questions
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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