You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize