I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
